it's quite hard being old and young at the same time.

time will tell

有時候有時候

everything on earth is two ways. really. with your attitude?

如若我也有權愛　同樣我也有權不必被愛

'live and let go'

it's strange how you say you're too old to let friends go considering how you treat them.

or,

to be fair, me.

thank you J for pointing out what's going on.

in your words, 'i can't believe how things have changed so drastically within 10 months'

maybe you should be asking how you could change so drastically. because 10 months ago, you'd have more insight in what's going on in your life, you'd have time to listen to your friend's problems, you'd invite them over for dinner even when you have nothing to say, you'd get coffees with them not because you need to rant, but you just want to spend time with them. and because 10 months ago, you had more self-respect, and your world consisted of other things apart from yourself. 10 months ago you were interesting and beautiful.

now i see none of that. no wonder you're so 'insecure' and always unhappy.

i have no grudges. i only wish you the best of whatever you choose to make with your life.

:)

note the date ;)

I'll never let you go

If you promise not to fade away

-Muse, Starlight.

parents

parents.

my parents.

they will never change.

they will never approve of me.

they will never be normal like all the other parents.

i don't want to sound unfilial.

but at times it feels like keeping a distance from them is the only way out.

cho.

:( ?

i guess it's the unexpected that make you see what you would've have not seen.

i have so much to learn.

please bear with me,

but only if you really love me,

and i will make sure i'll make it up to you one day.

work. (and yes, i actually do have to work)

After all the gossip, badmouthing, (mis)calculations, drama-no pun intended- the dust has been settled.

People come, people go.

But where should I be?

:(

trust

love is scary like how you only have one heart
and you never know what people will do to it
i hope i made the right decision
by giving it entirely to you.

time flies, 123

是太想念您 超過了預期
只想可擁著您 然後吻您 讓您驚喜
由這一分鐘 我一生 就只有您
*明日縱使不堪 阻不到我用心愛您
讓我終於都明瞭 明白您比生死重要
原諒我卻試過傷害您

john keats!

maybe it's time to pick up poetry again!
ha, when was the last time i picked up a book?

quoting judi picoult (not that she's someone one would usually quote),
"hearts break all the time. days break, waves break, voices break. promises break hearts break."

at the end of the it's the truth that matters the most. even when it might make me angry i'd rather you tell me the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the whole truth.

oh, 123.

it was more or less full moon last night. bright and clear.
frankly,
i still think of you whenever i see the moon,

but when was the last time you missed me?

when the moon is pretty i tend to miss you
more.
maybe it's because it reminds me of the summer days where i was
so eager to share with you every beautiful thing i saw.

because everything beautiful reminded me of you.

maybe because we're approaching the time where things end,
programmes,
semesters,
seasons-

-i heard about another death of a friend's friend a few days ago-

followed by a few months of nothingness before a new beginning,
before things are settled again,
september,
october,

i find it difficult to see that we're still on the same page,
that we're still on the same team we said we wanted to be.
at this point there is still no one else in the entire world i'd rather be with, but you.

and i wonder,
if you still feel the same way too.

because if you're still with me you'd make sure i knew it.
because if you're still with me you'd think of ways to make me happy.

if you still love me, help me out. let me know we're still doing this together.

four months too late..

and it's four months too late for new year's resolution.. but what the heck, better late than never, right?

1. grow up (yes, finally)
2. explore life a little more
3. be less moody
4. love more, think less
5. polish my communication skills
6. seek out broader career options

had a great night's sleep and woke up feeling refreshed this morning. maybe it's the change of weather, maybe it's the fact i have a long lunch today, maybe sometiimes all you need is a good night's worth of sleep and something to look forward to in the morning.

it's great feeling positive!

four months too late.. but bring it on, twenty ten!

speechless.

Happy Valentines Day, 123.

紅豆

歌手：方大同

作曲：柳重言

填詞：林夕

編曲：方大同

還沒好好的感受 雪花綻放的氣候

我們一起顫抖 會更明白

甚麼是溫柔

還沒跟你牽著手 走過荒蕪的沙丘

可能從此以後

學會珍惜 天長和地久

有時候 有時候

我會相信一切有盡頭

相聚離開 都有時候

沒有甚麼會永垂不朽

可是我 有時候

寧願選擇留戀不放手

等到風景都看透

也許你會陪我 看細水長流

“I wanted to show you that to me, you are the world. I wanted to tell you that in my eyes, you are the only one that matters. I wrote you a poem, but the words were not right. I painted you a picture, but the colors didn’t fit. I composed a song for you, but even that was not enough. Now, my dear, I have nothing to give you. I have nothing to show you my heart.”

-found this somewhere. it's like someone jumped into my head and wrote it for me so i'm sharing it with you here.